

Today, my flu is worsening.. again.
my heart shaken.. like never before..
Like usual, if i just lay down - do nothing.. a lot of memories of my life 
reflected in..
I remember the old passage we pass through in old 
Damshiq, in cold winter night, and again in the morning, after wondering why so many people come from one of the Bab (doors from Old Damascus City 
fortress - there are 7 or 8 of them)..  Bab 
Faradis - (actually they were 
Syiah Pilgrims back from 
Fajr prayer).
I remember the tired looking wall, with 1400 years old memories,
who has rub shoulder through it.. who has lean the bicycle on it..
who has spit on it, even urinate on it, and who has sleep and eat inside its comfort..
I also remember playing alone under the coconut trees.. somewhere in Kg 
Kedai Buloh when I was seven years old.. try to locate "
kutu tanah" with the hints of tiny "pan-shape-hole" sand;
the bigger the shape, the bigger the creature might be..
and when i found it; I just stare at it, tossed it around - the poor sand flea..
until it get exhausted, before i let it go..
is that what happen to me right now?